I am weary, and I a stranger,
Lead me to the land of angels.
Be my eyes in time of darkness,
Be my shield against host of faery,
Be my wings till I find my home.
Taken from Stone Maiden
by Susan King
Friday, October 29, 2004
I realise why students taking three subjects are supposed to do worse than those taking four - their brain cells die from boredom of having so many free periods. Here am I, slacking away in the music room, reading chinese till I'm bored then fooling around on the computer. Argh. But I suppose next year I shall have to use the time more constructively.
Last day of school......I must confess that I never liked going to school, so I'm always very happy when the last day arrives. Just imagine, any homework you don't hand up is going to take the teacher 8 weeks to find out....haha....
On the other hand, there's chinese coming up. Somehow I don't think I studied much, but oh well. A pass is fine with me. Perhaps we shall go to the beach after wards? The weather is clearing up!
I realise......that you can forget how to smile. And it feels so unnatural to do so.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
Just home....CO is quite tiring. I have one week to make sure the blisters heal. Went for my first orchestral rehearsal today...fun! Though one good thing is that I can't hear myself very well....too low.
Went to the beach today, skipping econs lecture. Really quite relaxing, though it's quite glaring at twelve noon on the sand. The tide is so pretty! Then of course, it had to rain on the way back.
Visit to the Community Hopsital today. Interesting.......What the old man did really made my day....it was a really touching gesture......it's been the first sunny spot in my week today.
Oops. I must go cancel piano for chinese tuition tomorrow.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
Today was another slack day........PW oral presentation in the morning - somehow I seem to have back tracked......whatever.....
Went to Huimin's house to sleep for an hour or so before CO, pretty restful sleep. Can't say I've been having a lot of that recently........We are improving on the double bass! Though I still can't figure out why my fingers don't peel when everyone else's does...
I can't say I'm very happy school is going to be over. Guilt eats at you. What I am supposed to do?! I am acting in the way I see best, and I believe it'll all be fine in the end.
Monday, October 25, 2004
Hmm, monday night. Didn't go to school in the morning today, was too tired again. It's a weird feeling...makes you feel really pathetic, when you can't walk unsupported...so...dependent. Concert last night, you see.
Today attended yet another concert, some NKF charity thingy, whose main singer was a person, yes, person, called VAN. Weird names. Didn't really like it, was more troubled with other stuff....
Oh dear. I do hope you understand....it breaks my heart doing it too. But it's better in the end. You'll see.
Sunday, October 24, 2004
Ok, I'm back here again on Sunday morning. I realised you don't have to be too busy to go onto the computer, you also can be enjoying yourself too much to use the computer too! PW at km's house later...all the way in Bishan..but rather his than mine.
Friday: Really very slack. Handed up PW, didn't feel like studying any more after that. Realised that our only lesson of the day was econs. Its's bad to be sleepy, but fun to discover that people make good pillows :)....thank you!
Yesterday: Piano again, Ravel sounds really bad to me, I must improve it or die this week. I feel such a responsibility to play that whole sonata well....I can't explain well. SINDA ends next week! It's actually quite saddening...I found out that Majeed lives near school, perhaps I'll see him some day. He's so cute...wonder what he'll look like when he's older. Went for a long, long walk....
Today: Not over yet. Supposed to be practising guzheng, but shan't. Ha.
Friday, October 22, 2004
Hmm, I think I don't need to sleep already. Km too, but he says he did it before for some ASEAN essay. Haha, I would never do that. It's 3.40, sleeping will just make me feel sleepier. Don't know. Finally finished written report, 2 hours of work down the drain because the limit is 2 diskettes. Humph.
I'm sorry I made you wait, I'll make it up to you too tomorrow, or rather, today, ok? Thanks for coming today!
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
CO today. My poor fingers.....haha, I discovered that they do sell chocolate waffles near school....oh, but must be wary of becoming fat, haha. Today was quite a funny day, really, but it would have been better if I wasn't so tired. Imagine.....coming back so late next year. Argh.
Dropping maths. Somehow there are a lot of people dropping subjects in class....I shall try to appeal for S paper....hmm, shall not talk about it till I get the final confirmation. A bit...worrying.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
Ok, today is a cold day. Freezing. Not a very nice day, overall. I may have to see miss tan and TALK to her soon....gosh.
Monday, October 18, 2004
If I were to really post all I wanted to say here........I would have no more use for my diary.
Basically, two things I need to sort out today:
1) Am I going to appeal to take geog s paper?
2) What kind of people relationships am I having this year?
Considering that life is made up, for a student, of academic and social life, there's only one word to describe my life this year, I think.....screwed.
Sunday, October 17, 2004
PW and PW and PW. Can't stand it, it's not as if it's highly interesting to do. Does anyone see the irony and utter hopelessness of teaching creativity? It's something that happens, not something you teach. Society is not some controlled experimental laboratory, you just do not try to do something like this.
Or trying to teach the arts in chinese. I am afraid I may turn into one of those PAP hating people.
Saturday, October 16, 2004
I'm back again at my blog, hmm, it's been a really long time, I guess? Doing PW, tomorrow is going to be a day of nothing but it, I must rush it now because I intend not to do any work tonight. Got back econs MCQ and case study, MCQ was ok, case study was really surprising. I thought I was rambling to a really large degree, I mean, I had fun admiring all my handwriting as I was writing for the case study. Not really paying attention to what I wrote, but it turned out well. Maybe it's because I will die for the essay.
Mr Lim says I probably got a O for maths. Hmm.
It's so irritating that when you thought you could slack after promos, along come chinese and PW. Designed to be on the same week so that you not only die, you stay dead.
I don't like stress.
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
Promos are finally over, for the worse or the better. I wish I felt better. Oh dear.........
Sunday, October 10, 2004
Oh dear, I still think I am going to die for geog tomorrow........because I don't think I have been concentrating properly, and I don't want to find out that I don't know but I must........oh heck.
I am beginning to seriously doubt the capability of my brain to store so much information until tomorrow. If I forget everything it's my own fault for starting too late. Finally, I am starting to panic too......but I guess I should count my blessings. I don't take chem!
Why on earth does Miss Rabiah have to leave holes in her notes?!
Saturday, October 09, 2004
Hello! Back again after a long and boring break of promos..actually, I'm still not done with it - there's Geography on Monday. Hmm, today I have cancelled all my committments on saturday to study....hopefully it's of some use.
Promos...well, I don't discuss a paper, anyway you will eventually get it back marked in the end. Hmm, I realise that if I follow what I censor from my blog as usual, from now on the entries are going to get even shorter than ever......
Monday, October 04, 2004
Maths is such a painful, painful subject. Ugh. Seriously going to drop it first thing on wednesday........hopefully? Argh, i think i am.......quite......stressed. I mean, I think.......studying maths and econs at the same time is quite.......stressful. I am starting to panic, I think. All I can say is I'm exhausted but horribly guilty......so I can't sleep. URgh.
Sunday, October 03, 2004
Good, i've finally managed to recover all my sleep from that horrible three nights. Ok, this is a solemn promise to not rush composition anymore! But this is so sad, miss wong says that they all sound the same, sigh....perhaps next time I should just do a Baroque one and see how it turns out since everything I compose seems to sound Baroque anyway.......
21st birthdays.....frankly I don't see what is the fuss all about. You grow up when you want to, why should there be a specific day for you to say you have matured? I can't believe my cousin asked my aunt for a trip to America for her birthday present....so expensive...and who would she go with? Yes, I know her boyfriend is 24 and has a car and got arrested for drunk driving....but, humph. Somehow I can't see my aunt letting her go with him.
I realise that my cousin's girlfriends all look the same....tall...skinny....long rebonded and dyed hair........quiet......you get the idea. I mean, I didn't even notice it, sorry, she was different from the last one! Ha, not that I was socialising much, price, cross and income elasticities were taking too much of my time. Well, my ideal 21st birthday would be spent without a party....just somewhere quiet, and yes, nothing SHOWY.....
Today, I finally started on MATHS. Whatever happens, I'm going to drop it anyway, it's such a torture to study it! At least though I keep failing econs, I actually like studying for it. Anyway, I'm bored of studying now. It's so easy to just drop everything and start daydreaming of what I can do after promos.....in moderation, of course. If you don't study now, how would you be able to enjoy the decemeber holidays with a guilt-free conscience?
Oh yuck, I'm in IP orientation. Yuck, yuck. Hopefully when i drop maths they will kick me out of the Scholarship Prep Thingy? I mean, it's not as if it's a lot of use or fun being in it.......
Friday, October 01, 2004
Today has been haunted by too much econs.........I'm quite tired. Not coherent. Night.
it's not the years in your life that count,
but the life in your years.
`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`
And in the end,
On |ove`*
And now I will show you the most excellent way:
If I speak in tongues of men and of angels, but have not love,
I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`
wish`*
wish
wish
`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`
archives`*
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
