I am weary, and I a stranger,
Lead me to the land of angels.
Be my eyes in time of darkness,
Be my shield against host of faery,
Be my wings till I find my home.
Taken from Stone Maiden
by Susan King
Monday, September 27, 2004
Ok, I have 90% finished my composition......hopefully miss chew won't slaughter it tomorrow.....then i must go and rework the jazz one by thursday. And we are getting our harmony exam tomorrow!!! Argh! I think music is the kind of subject where you first slack very diligently, then you rush like mad. Ah well. I think I just am not good at it.
Today, I think I was really quite badly stoned from composing so much the day before...it's such a painful process when you don't have inspiration, so the first half of the day was quite bad. Hmm, I don't have enough confidence for performance......oh well.
Late for school today, for the first time in my life. Haha, luckily the teachers were late too, so we didnt have to walk all the way to the main gate.
Change is inevitable. But that doesn't mean I won't feel sad. And of course, this has been tried and tested...denial doesn't work. But if you think it will.......what can I say? It's your life, really......I just wish I were a part of it again....hmm.
Saturday, September 25, 2004
Haha, I have started on composition! And it sounds full of promise this time, so hopefully.......haha. I'm in a good mood! And the moon carries so much promise....
I'm also under a lot of pressure. Sheesh. I should just repeat and make everyone give up, then try to do well by myself.
Friday, September 24, 2004
Today, I am irritated. Ha. Ha. Ha.
Also, went shopping. No stamina.
Thursday, September 23, 2004
Oh, I passed my violin exam. I suppose it's a big deal. Anyway, really am starting on composition today, which is quite a relief.
I am disturbed. I am supposed to be good at it, but I'm not. Huh.
Sleepy, but discontent overrides it. Shall study.
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
Suddenly very worried for my promos. Shucks. Shall start composition tonight.
Tuesday, September 21, 2004
Rush, rush. Rushing PW. Going to rush Geog. Then soon must rush composition. My finger is swollen. So difficult to type without second finger!!! Hmm, and I can play the piano for too long too. So irritating. Ok, going to rush.
Sunday, September 19, 2004
Bliss....ok, this word this year brings unhappy memories of a physcotic form teacher, but other than that, it still rings of total, complete and utter bliss. I feel that you work best when you are both physically and emotionally content, it gives you such a wonderful feeling of being at peace with the whole world. And somehow I think it makes you look so uplifted, everyone keeps asking why you look so delighted....
All I ask for, is one day of pure happiness each week, to see me through the dreary days. There has always been, and always will be, some undercurrent of something , something that I have been running away from, and have taken too long to understand, that elusive, perhaps etheral feeling of the connection between two souls....
This is the last barrier with myself I cannot overcome. I will not, and cannot spell that word here. But this whole post rings of it, yes?
Saturday, September 18, 2004
Today is saturday.......I am at peace again, let's hope next week will pass smoothly, because it seems that now what I feel is out of my own hands....
Ok, econs test oh thursday.....it was exactly what Beetsma taught us the day before! So I was quite happy after that, and went out with zy and Sam to watch Dodgeball. Was I being a lightbulb again? I think so....but who knows. Must really thank them for the surprise afterwards, it really made my day. And friday as well.......for a while.
Friday.....what happened? Oh, GP essay writing. I was sitting right in front of Miss Tan, that teacher really tramautises me. And had econs test, ok lah. Shall fail, as usual. Music teachers are stressed at the moment because the auditors are coming next week, so I have to do stock check too. Learnt from Emily that there is a double bass hidden in the dry riser on the 2nd floor, and the way to get past the auditors are to lock the cupboards...so cool! Ok, must acknowledge the help i got with opening the cases, maybe you will find a cockroach someday......Ok, for PE, during tennis, I whacked a ball so hard it flew over the fence and ontot the road somewhere......we never found it. I think I hit the balls too hard or something.
Today....piano as usual, then SINDA. The children are so cute. Then went out. The new car finally came today! Then here I am.......happy for the first time in this whole week.
Wednesday, September 15, 2004
Hmm....yesterday's post has gone into oblivion. School today. PW after that. I can't really be bothered to talk about it.
Monday, September 13, 2004
Typing with one hand today........guzheng exam tomorrow. Actually, I have a lot ofwork to do, but i'm more worried about the exam. So not bothering about geog, econs or maths, which all have homework by tomorrow. piano next week. havent started composition. oh dear..........
Well. I have saturday free. I kind of deserved it, didn't I?
Sunday, September 12, 2004
Sneezing badly today. If you believe that every time you sneeze someone is cursing you, someone there really hates me this week....Twice in a week! School starts tomorrow. I've always hated school. Why?
Ok, going to rush geog homework. What on earth is a water balance?
Friday, September 10, 2004
Went for PW today.....hmm, shirley's clothes.....leave nothing to the imagination, frankly. And it was quite fun, we went to the esplanade area to take pictures.......sigh. Learnt about the TSC, funny! Here now, rather exhausted. Must do some homework tonight, tomorrow's another busy day.
Perhaps I can pass chinese?
Thursday, September 09, 2004
Today..is full of that horrible subject called chinese...........I have been swamped in chinese every since I woke up, and I have to look at some more of it tonight....Chinese exams are always so exhilarating, I never know if I'm going to pass or fail, fine, if I fail I promise to mug really hard for the A levels. Argh. It's so unpredictable! And it's messing up my holidays...I consider today totally wasted revision wise. And it's about time to start worrying about holiday homework.............Would even december be a real holiday? Time has been pouring so fast this whole year.........
Wednesday, September 08, 2004
Bah.
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
Today was a nice day! Actually not slack anymore, and I can concentrate on work, suprisingly. The beach is a nice, nice place.
Religion.......is it all it seems? Or is it in perception? Sigh.........But I cannot just leave it be......but what can I do? Hope seems to be all I can do........But that is very insubstantial. What can I do? It is not right to do something because there is no other choice.......
Monday, September 06, 2004
Today........still quite slack but getting better, hopefully. Finally went to watch Garfield after one year of waiting to watch it, it's interesting to think that at this time last year the thought of me going to TJ was so remote....but never mind.
Rainy day today. I wish you'd take better care of yourself, I don't like to feel so worried all the time....please go sleep early, k?
Sunday, September 05, 2004
let's see......what have I been doing........
Saturday: Morning, went to school to pass up guzheng score, no idea why the year twos still want to go to school.....probably too into music......then went for piano lesson, met this horrible girl who is in Raffles, so disgusting and snobbish, ok never mind.....went to Bedok CC to help with the reading group, this week got this very cute malay boy..he has such a nice nose! And he's very talkative, so it's easy to read to him.......came home.....napped for a long long time.....at night....ok, not going to say.....end.
Sunday: Morning, guzheng class, got pressurized to practise, came home, slept for another long, long time, then went to my grandmother's house to celebrate Sarah and Asher's birthday...did a bit of maths, now slacking in front of the com. Should be doing PW, but tomorrow will do.
If only I could turn back time.......
Friday, September 03, 2004
Gosh, my fingers are sore. The double bass is quite comfortable, I guess, and the people are nice. Shall try to revise some stuff tonight. Tomorrow is very busy, but I feel very anti-stress today. Ok, another word for it is slack, but I guess I can afford this night?
Do you know only 10% of the TJ cohort take 4 subjects in Year 2? Temptations.....
Thursday, September 02, 2004
1- Last name: Yan
2- Last birthday:14th August this year
3- Last hair cut: Some time in June
4- Last pierce/tattoo: N/A
5- Last cry: June, second week
6- Last swear: Today? Found out got econs homework..gah
7- Last song listened: Today by Emi Fujita
8- Last watched TV show: Blade. Grossed out
9- Last website: Haydn's string quartet programme notes
10- Last yell: Down the stairs to get my mother to pick up the phone
11- Last movie: Bourne Supremacy
12- Last outing: Teachers Day Eve. Bliss....
13- Last missed call: Sam
14- Last received call: Huimin
15- Last dialled call: Huimin
16- Last sms sent: Er....
17- Last sms received: Er....
18- Last bath: When I came home
19- Last time involved in fist fighting: 3 years ago?
20- Last clubbing place: Never clubbed
21- Last quarrel: don't recall
22- Last achivement: finished music project
23- Last smile: Reading the last sms
24- Last time u scold your boss: what boss?
25- Last laughing hard: today, after school
26- Last time that you fall sick: last week
27- Last exercise:On the way home today
28- Last time u had a crush(es): Er...no last time, I think
29- Last time u had your heart broken: Not yet!
30- Last time u in love deeply: Er, still no last time
Last food eaten: Soup
32- Last drink: plain water
33- Last things u bought: A present
34- Last CD bought: Some chinese thingy
35- Last time u rent a VCD/DVD: Never
36- Last time u bought a VCD/DVD: Never
37- Last hp used: No idea
38- Last photo taken for yourself: never
39- Last annoy: what's an annoy?
40- Last word u said: ?
41- Last thing u touched: The keyboard
42- Last time u get angry: Not this week!
43- Last relation ended: No last.
44- Last boyfriend/girlfriend: No last.
45- Last person u go out with: Er....
46- Last time u break a glass: I don't recall.. Must have been years ago
47- Last time u make love: Never
48- Last time u brush your teeth: this morning
49- Last mall u went: Parkway Parade
50- Last time u trip & fall:Not this year
51- Last person u miss: No last. Missing even now....
52- Last person u hate: No one in mind
53- Last person u in love with: No last
54- Last time went oversea: last year
55- Last country u went: Thailand
56- Last time u get your pay: I don't work.
57- Last time u dropped into e toilet bowl: huh?
58- Last word u type: huh?
59- Last time u felt irritated: Not this week!
60- Last time u woo a girl: I AM a girl
61- Last email u received: Some forwarded mail
62- Last email u sent: more forwarded mail
63- Last person wrote a testimonial for u: Jason
64- Last person u wrote a testimonial for: Lao Da
65- Last surprise: Teacher's Day Eve
66- Last u went hiking: sec 3
67- Last time u failed your test: Econs essay
68- Last time u went on Mars: N/A
69- Last time u went a plane:Last year
70- Last time u smoke: N/A
71- Last time u drink: N/A
72- Last time u take drug illegally: N/A
73- Last time u sang: just now, for fun
74- Last regret: Being too irritated for nothing, and snapping at people
75- Last hair drop: Huh?
76- Last letter u you wrote:Er....
77- Last letter received: Er....
78- Last person u had a crush on: no last
79- Last song dl ed: dl ed?
80- Last vehicles: Bus 197
81- Last worry: Now. For not doing econs
82- Last time u cut yourself:Don't remember
83- Last time u tink u r someone else: Huh?
84- Last time u wan to commit suicide: N/A
85- Last police record:N/A
86- Last person that praised u: er...
87- Last wish come true: Teacher's day eve.
There. That took a long, long time. I don't really have time to spare, got to go print scores now!
Anyone who needs to know can fill in the "er.." bits themselves...
it's not the years in your life that count,
but the life in your years.
`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`
And in the end,
On |ove`*
And now I will show you the most excellent way:
If I speak in tongues of men and of angels, but have not love,
I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.
`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`
wish`*
wish
wish
`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`
archives`*
04/01/2004 - 05/01/2004
05/01/2004 - 06/01/2004
06/01/2004 - 07/01/2004
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
01/01/2005 - 02/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005
09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005
10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005
11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005
12/01/2005 - 01/01/2006
01/01/2006 - 02/01/2006
02/01/2006 - 03/01/2006
03/01/2006 - 04/01/2006
04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006
05/01/2006 - 06/01/2006
06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006
07/01/2006 - 08/01/2006
08/01/2006 - 09/01/2006
09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006
10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006
