tacitae per amica silentia lunae: admist the friendly silence of the soundless moonlight

I am weary, and I a stranger,

Lead me to the land of angels.

Be my eyes in time of darkness,

Be my shield against host of faery,

Be my wings till I find my home.

Taken from Stone Maiden by Susan King

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Sigh....sacrifice is character building and all that, but you really do have to draw a line somewhere. I mean, it's ok if what I'm sacrificing is just my time, and energy, but I draw the line at my violin. I know this is stupid, so I don't go advertising it all over the place, but I really do treat my violin as another human being. And now it's been disfigured. Ok, so it can be put back to normal ( most probably, I hope), but it's never going to trust me again! And it was my responsibility to look after it! It's been through so much with me, and I really do understand it( even more than the other violin), and now it's been defaced. It's so sad!!! I mean, all those concerts and competitions we've gone through together, me learning to play on it......

But that's not all. My faith in human character has really been badly shaken these two days. I guess I really must stop being so naive and trusting of everyone. How was I to know that she was going to do that, or be like that? It's really true you will never get to know a person properly, and sometimes the things you find out about them really hurt. I hate myself for being so obliging! What makes it worse, is that, now, having sacrificed my violin, which I really will never forgive myself for doing, it doesn't come to anything at all. She isn't going to perform.

I don't mind as long as what I sacrifice is mine, but my violin! I really do love it so very much, and now it's been hurt. I've given so much into this, but all I get out of this is even more hurt. Even when we get through this, with a sense of relief, this scar is still going to be there. The worst thing, is, what can I do? She already apologized, but it isn't going to make a difference. I'll never forgive myself for not taking care of my violin....I'm so sorry......I really am

Er...I hope I don't sound like the Mabel and her guitar episode. Ha. But if I do, I really sympathize with her...It really cuts like a knife.

Sigh.

michelle
8:25 PM

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On |ove`*

And now I will show you the most excellent way:
If I speak in tongues of men and of angels, but have not love,
I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.

If I have the gift of prophecy
and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge,
and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love,
I am nothing.

If I give up all I possess,
and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love,
I gain nothing.

Love is patient; love is kind;
it does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud.
It is not rude; it is not self-seeking;
it is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies,
they will pass away; where there are tongues,
they will be stilled; where there is knowledge,
it will pass away.

For we know in part and we prophesy in part,
but when perfection comes,
the imperfect disappears.

When I was a child, I talked like a child,
I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.
When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me.

Now we see but a poor reflection,
then we shall see face to face.

Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain:

faith, hope and love, but the greatest of these is love.

- I Corinthians, chapter 13 ve

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